Life is busy, it gets messy and it gets really hard to keep up with the expectations we place on ourselves and those that others place on us.  Expectation and perfection are two things that often crowd my headspace throwing my life off balance. Who is with me!?

Have you ever woken up on a Saturday morning feeling peaceful and calm only to feel your anxiety rise as you begin to plan out your day? “Should” statements often push me from a feeling of calmness to full blown anxiety within minutes.

  • I should be with the kiddos 24/7 playing, reading, watching movies, getting outside etc.
  • I should have a spotless, organized house
  • I should do whatever my family wants, when they want it
  • I should give 110% to everything, every day
  • I should wake up early with the kids every day
  • I should go out with my friends more
  • I should do laundry every day
  • I should stay up late after the kids go to bed to hang with my husband
  • I should be better at doing my hair and make up 
  • I should do my hair and dress up every day
  • I should workout 5 days a week
  • I should only eat healthy foods
  • I should be happy 100% of the time
  • I should post to my blog multiple times a week
  • I should read a book a week
  • I should paint my house
  • I should shampoo our carpets
  • I should go clean out the basement and all of the closets
    and so on….

No one can possibly keep up with all of the things every single day. It’s not realistic. So how do I cope with the feelings that I’m not doing enough? You guessed it. Self-care.

I’ve spent the last eight months diving head first into fitness, mindful eating, self-improvement podcasts, self-care, and self-help books (check out the mine favorites section of the site to see what I’ve been loving!). I’ve taken in so many suggestions on how to live a happy and healthy life and the greatest lesson I’ve learned is to listen to myself and to give myself what I need (and eliminate those things that I do not) in any given moment. 

Life is not all or nothing. Its not about getting everything done. It’s not about being 100% focused on your kids. It’s not about being “perfect.” It’s all about balance girl.

It’s about tapping into the advice, tips and tricks that accommodate how you feel at a specific moment in time. It’s about customizing your day or an hour or a moment in time to work through your feelings using the tools you have acquired that meet the needs of YOU.

There will be weeks when you feel creative, tired, strong, motivated, badass, weak, passionate, inspired, angry, sad, nurtured, happy, relaxed, empowered…the list goes on.  There will never be perfect weeks. They may come close but they will not be perfect.  All of your expectations won’t be met daily.  That’s just how it is. That’s the hard truth.

The important thing to realize here is that how we adapt, how we coach ourselves, how we cheer ourselves on and how we grow as a person is truly what matters. 

When I am stressed and can tap into the lessons I’ve learned on how to deal with that, that’s progress. When I can slow down, read a book, take a bath or watch my favorite TV show rather than beat myself up over the workout I didn’t complete that day or the tasks that weren’t done, that is success. 

Don’t be hard on yourself.  If you have a burst of energy and you’re getting things crossed of your list, go you! If you are having a strong week full of fitness, go you! If you’re feeling tired and taking a few days to relax, go you! The important thing is that you’re doing what you want, when you want it. Listening to our intuition and really diving into what we want and more importantly, what we need, is how we take care of ourselves.  That’s self-care.

Now some of you are going to think, if I listen to myself all of the time, nothing will get done and that may be true. You may need to push yourself to do something to get you out of a slump.  Our feelings change. Our energy levels change.  If you follow that, the ups and the downs, you will find yourself balancing rest with productivity and that my friend is how you live more with intention and less from a place of expectation and perfection. 

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